Christmas Catastrophe

I fell under the tree,
And the tree fell on me.
Pine needles hurt.
I just bought a dozen.

Bought me some egg nog
And fruitcake through mail.
Told a man "Merry Christmas"
And went straight to jail.

Caroled in prison,
They gave me the chair.
Took me to a room,
I said "sit down where?"

I think for Christmas
I'm getting a bike.
This is the end.
Applaud if you like.

I intentionally wrote this poem to be included in the school newspaper, but the teacher didn't want to include it. The beginning and the end are kind of silly, but in the middle, there's actually a little seriousness. It's talking about being persecuted for "religious" speech in public, which has become more common in the US since I wrote this poem back in 1995.