Bananas Conductor



Site News
Christian Links
Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child
Opinion Articles
Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories
Funny Pictures
Funny Chat Logs
Poems
Fiction Stories
Music
Spreadsheets
Last Days of Socrates
The Powerpuff Girls
Comics
Variety Site Forum
Other Fun Links
My Email: [email protected]


A little old lady is on a bus buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes, the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling.

According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God, and he is freed. Somehow, he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her. Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts and makes him sit in a bucket of water; he tries everything, but the conductor won't die. So again, he is set free.

Amazingly, he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution. At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting him free again, he asks him his secret, "What is it with the bananas?"

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," he replies. "I'm just a bad conductor."



8 Reasons 1500s Facts(?) The Ant and Grasshopper
Bananas Conductor Bible Jokes Brain Teasers
Church Bulletins Clever Dog Colored
Correct Email Cowboy Cows
Dangerous Stuttering Dave Berry Quotes Dear Tide
Definitions Deputy Wife Designated Decoy
Divorced Barbie Dog Fight? Don't Shout
Engineer and Manager Excuse Notes Expert Salesman
Farmer Brown Fishing Fool Quotes
Fun Facts(?) Funny Quotes Gambling Quiz
God Destroys Earth GM vs. Microsoft Great Truths
Grey Parents The Hardship of Accounting How Business is Done
Hypocrites I Hate Life! Indian Ingenuity
Kids in Church Lightbulbs Limericks
Lincoln's Donkey Lying Politicians Minister Cometh
Modern Noah Mother Odd News
Of Studies and Taco Bell Personality Quiz Plant the Wheat
Product Warning Labels Proverbs Puns
Plants Real Sherlock Rednecks
Riddles Question Game Safe Driver Award
Say What? Shrimp Shells Soap Opera
Speeding Excuse Valuable Art Virus Joke
Water or Coke? Water Walk Where Pets Come From
Which Tire? Why Computers Crash Worst Things




All Variety Reading Pages

Site News Christian Links Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child Opinion Articles Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories Funny Pictures Funny Chat Logs
Poems Fiction Stories Music
Spreadsheets Last Days of Socrates The Powerpuff Girls
Comics Variety Site Forum Other Fun Links

My Email: [email protected]