Great Truths in the Cycle of Life - Funny Quotes



Site News
Christian Links
Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child
Opinion Articles
Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories
Funny Pictures
Funny Chat Logs
Poems
Fiction Stories
Music
Spreadsheets
Last Days of Socrates
The Powerpuff Girls
Comics
Variety Site Forum
Other Fun Links
My Email: [email protected]


GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

  • No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  • When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  • If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  • Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.
  • You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
  • Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  • Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  • You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  • Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  • The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

  • Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
  • Wrinkles don't hurt.
  • Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
  • Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
  • Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
  • Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD :

  • Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  • Forget the health food. You need all the preservatives you can get.
  • When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  • Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
  • Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
  • The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
  • When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
  • I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
  • Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
  • If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
  • I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.



8 Reasons 1500s Facts(?) The Ant and Grasshopper
Bananas Conductor Bible Jokes Brain Teasers
Church Bulletins Clever Dog Colored
Correct Email Cowboy Cows
Dangerous Stuttering Dave Berry Quotes Dear Tide
Definitions Deputy Wife Designated Decoy
Divorced Barbie Dog Fight? Don't Shout
Engineer and Manager Excuse Notes Expert Salesman
Farmer Brown Fishing Fool Quotes
Fun Facts(?) Funny Quotes Gambling Quiz
God Destroys Earth GM vs. Microsoft Great Truths
Grey Parents The Hardship of Accounting How Business is Done
Hypocrites I Hate Life! Indian Ingenuity
Kids in Church Lightbulbs Limericks
Lincoln's Donkey Lying Politicians Minister Cometh
Modern Noah Mother Odd News
Of Studies and Taco Bell Personality Quiz Plant the Wheat
Product Warning Labels Proverbs Puns
Plants Real Sherlock Rednecks
Riddles Question Game Safe Driver Award
Say What? Shrimp Shells Soap Opera
Speeding Excuse Valuable Art Virus Joke
Water or Coke? Water Walk Where Pets Come From
Which Tire? Why Computers Crash Worst Things




All Variety Reading Pages

Site News Christian Links Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child Opinion Articles Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories Funny Pictures Funny Chat Logs
Poems Fiction Stories Music
Spreadsheets Last Days of Socrates The Powerpuff Girls
Comics Variety Site Forum Other Fun Links

My Email: [email protected]