Of Studies and Taco Bell



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Of Studies (by Sir Francis Bacon) Of Taco Bell
Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. Taco Bell serves for food, for amusement, and for movement.
Their chief use for delight, is in privateness and retiring; for ornament, is in discourse; and for ability, is in the judgment, and disposition of business. Its chief use for food, is for eating; for amusement, is with friends; and for movement, is to actually give you a reason to get up from the chair.
To spend too much time in studies is sloth; to use them too much for ornament, is affectation; to make judgment wholly by their rules, is the humor of a scholar. To spend too much time at Taco Bell will make you fat; to use it too much for amusement will make it cease to be amusing; to let it be the only reason you get out of the chair will make for a very unproductive life.
Crafty men contemn studies, simple men admire them, and wise men use them; for they teach not their own use; but that is a wisdom without them, and above them, won by observation. Crafty men like Taco Bell; simple men like Taco Bell; and wise men like Taco Bell; for its use is quite obvious and requires not much of any wisdom.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested; that is, some books are to be read only in parts; others to be read, but not curiously; and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention. Some Taco Bell food is to be tasted, soft drinks are to be swallowed, and most Taco Bell food is to be chewed up and disgested; that is, some Taco Bell food is eaten only in parts and left under the seat of the car; and some is to be eaten quickly like when you're in a hurry.
Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man. Tasting Taco Bell food maketh a happy man; eating it maketh a full man; and buying it for five people twice every weekend maketh a poor man.




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