Of Studies (by Sir Francis Bacon)
| Of Taco Bell
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Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability.
| Taco Bell serves for food, for amusement, and for movement.
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Their chief use for delight, is in privateness and retiring; for ornament, is in discourse; and for ability, is in the judgment, and disposition of business.
| Its chief use for food, is for eating; for amusement, is with friends; and for movement, is to actually give you a reason to get up from the chair.
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To spend too much time in studies is sloth; to use them too much for ornament, is affectation; to make judgment wholly by their rules, is the humor of a scholar.
| To spend too much time at Taco Bell will make you fat; to use it too much for amusement will make it cease to be amusing; to let it be the only reason you get out of the chair will make for a very unproductive life.
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Crafty men contemn studies, simple men admire them, and wise men use them; for they teach not their own use; but that is a wisdom without them, and above them, won by observation.
| Crafty men like Taco Bell; simple men like Taco Bell; and wise men like Taco Bell; for its use is quite obvious and requires not much of any wisdom.
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Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested; that is, some books are to be read only in parts; others to be read, but not curiously; and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.
| Some Taco Bell food is to be tasted, soft drinks are to be swallowed, and most Taco Bell food is to be chewed up and disgested; that is, some Taco Bell food is eaten only in parts and left under the seat of the car; and some is to be eaten quickly like when you're in a hurry.
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Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.
| Tasting Taco Bell food maketh a happy man; eating it maketh a full man; and buying it for five people twice every weekend maketh a poor man.
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