Church Bulletin Messages



Site News
Christian Links
Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child
Opinion Articles
Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories
Funny Pictures
Funny Chat Logs
Poems
Fiction Stories
Music
Spreadsheets
Last Days of Socrates
The Powerpuff Girls
Comics
Variety Site Forum
Other Fun Links
My Email: [email protected]


The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Sunday School: Children will be led in sinning and Bible study.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Announcement in a church bulletin for a national Prayer and Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

The rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. Prayer and medication to follow.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."



8 Reasons 1500s Facts(?) The Ant and Grasshopper
Bananas Conductor Bible Jokes Brain Teasers
Church Bulletins Clever Dog Colored
Correct Email Cowboy Cows
Dangerous Stuttering Dave Berry Quotes Dear Tide
Definitions Deputy Wife Designated Decoy
Divorced Barbie Dog Fight? Don't Shout
Engineer and Manager Excuse Notes Expert Salesman
Farmer Brown Fishing Fool Quotes
Fun Facts(?) Funny Quotes Gambling Quiz
God Destroys Earth GM vs. Microsoft Great Truths
Grey Parents The Hardship of Accounting How Business is Done
Hypocrites I Hate Life! Indian Ingenuity
Kids in Church Lightbulbs Limericks
Lincoln's Donkey Lying Politicians Minister Cometh
Modern Noah Mother Odd News
Of Studies and Taco Bell Personality Quiz Plant the Wheat
Product Warning Labels Proverbs Puns
Plants Real Sherlock Rednecks
Riddles Question Game Safe Driver Award
Say What? Shrimp Shells Soap Opera
Speeding Excuse Valuable Art Virus Joke
Water or Coke? Water Walk Where Pets Come From
Which Tire? Why Computers Crash Worst Things




All Variety Reading Pages

Site News Christian Links Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child Opinion Articles Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories Funny Pictures Funny Chat Logs
Poems Fiction Stories Music
Spreadsheets Last Days of Socrates The Powerpuff Girls
Comics Variety Site Forum Other Fun Links

My Email: [email protected]